This is a little weird, writing to my future self, hello me – hello you. A year from now I don’t know where I will be, What country I will be In or even who I will be. I think It will be pretty cool to be able to read back on this and remember how I was feeling, what i was doing and how far I’ve come already. Sometimes we forget to appreciate how far we truly have come.
Last year I came to Australia to gain experience, confidence and self-love. I went through dark stages In my life, I lost a best friend. I lost family’s trust and I lost myself. There was times that I didn’t think I would go on, Mornings I wouldn’t get out of bed and days I would suffer from great anxiety. Thankfully I have an amazing family, Who never gave up on me and believed in me. I was offered depression tablets but chose not to take them, See I’m a believer in self-healing. I had to go through that I had to feel it all, As raw as it was and as painful as my life had become I had to get through it. I am so grateful to myself for booking my trip to Australia, although it was difficult, and upsetting to be away from family and friends this trip has been the best thing I have done for myself.
I’ve pushed myself out of my comfort zone, I’ve had to do certain things, I’ve had to make new friends and I’ve had to see past the hard days enough to stay here and do the amazing things that I’ve achieved. I lost all my confidence through my dark stages, I was no longer the person that I was and people started to see this and comment on it. My grandparents noticed it, My friends picked up on it and sometimes even my little sister picked up on it. Everyone noticed it apart from me, A year later and I’m finally gaining my old self back.
A relationship I have always struggled with is with my mum, But this past year we have resolved our issues and started a fresh. She used to be someone I would hide things from, She’s now someone who I can turn to for advice. This has helped gain my life back too.
Australia has been amazing, I’ve met some amazing people and made some even more amazing friendships. I’ve seen beautiful places, gorgeous sunsets and made some of the funniest memories (oh the stories I can tell) that I will keep with me forever. I’ve had the chance to spend time with family who moved over here years ago. My cousins are all grown up, little shits but full of passion and very funny.
I have new goals, I love blogging and writing and others seem to love my writing too. I want to resit my maths GCSE and I want to study eventually some sort of writing course. Maybe journalism? I’m thinking of even doing some voluntary work for writing. I want to visit more countries. I aim to be in Thailand for the new year, I want to see Thailand and the surrounding countries I’ve heard It’s amazing and super cheap! Theres countries closer to home that I haven’t seen and desperate to, Italy, Germany and Greece are just a few so I hope to see them to next year. America is in the picture too and Canada I met some lovely Americans and Canadians that I would love to catch up with!
I can’t wait to be home for christmas this year. That’s one thing I hated being away from, I love christmas and I love being around family and friends at this time of year. Last year i spent christmas in a hostel wishing the day away it was my first few weeks in Australia and I was still very much depressed. This christmas will be different and I can’t wait, maybe I could fit a cheeky holiday in around this time of year too!
I’ve turned my life around so much this past year, and I hope to continue on this path and continue to grow within myself and achieve more of my goals. I hope to never feel as I felt last year again but I now know that I’m stronger than I once thought.
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